“The best way to protect your marriage is to enjoy your marriage.”
- Ted Lowe from Married People
Ah, that sounds simple and obvious, doesn’t it? The problem is we don’t do it. Dating couples actually do this naturally. One reason we pick the person we marry is because we enjoy spending time together and usually that means having lots of fun. We laugh, flirt, smile, and play together. Having fun is a vital part of the process that gets us married but somehow it is not seen as vital to keeping us married. This small shift to fun being optional allows for a slow erosion of marital health.
What does fun do for a relationship? Through shared pleasurable experiences, a dating couple forms an emotional attachment. This attachment increases their sense of intimacy and their willingness to pursue even deeper intimacy in the relationship. Connection through fun cultivates trust, builds exclusivity as a couple, reduces stress, promotes affection, reduces conflict, improves communication, and adds a sense of excitement to the relationship.
But then the dating couple gets married. They have kids, advance in their careers, volunteer at church or for the sports team. Suddenly, having fun as a couple gets squeezed out. Surprise! All the good things that having fun together brings to a relationship get squeezed out of the marriage, too…very slowly. And without strong emotional attachment, marriage becomes more difficult and less satisfying.
But there is good news. You can decide to start enjoying your marriage today. Schedule time into life to do anything you both enjoy doing.
- Watch a comedian together
- Head out for a date
- Play a round of mini-golf
- Go for dinner and a walk
- Bike ride to get ice cream
- Pack a picnic
- Spend a day at the beach
- Try kayaking
- Attend a festival or...
...the list is endless. God designed you to smile, laugh, and play – decide to schedule your spouse and fun into life or life will schedule them out!
For Marriages Everywhere,
Pastor Jeff Supp
HomeField is the Marriage and Family Ministry of Calvary Church.
Visit our website page for more info on workshops, pre-marital classes, and
pastoral support that we offer.